Getting Over Sexual Shame

Many people face feelings of shame around sex. This can happen for various reasons, including past beliefs or experiences. If you want to break free from this cycle, here are some practical tips to help you.

Understand Your Feelings

  • Acknowledge Your Shame: First, accept that you feel shame. This feeling is common and doesn’t define you.
  • Identify Triggers: Think about what situations make you feel ashamed. Is it certain words, actions, or even memories?

Talk Openly

  • Communicate with Your Partner: Share your feelings with your partner. Let them know what makes you uncomfortable. This can create a safe space for both of you.
  • Join Support Groups: Consider joining groups where people share similar experiences. Hearing others’ stories can help you feel less alone.

Educate Yourself

  • Read Books: Look for books on sexuality and self-acceptance. Some recommended titles are:
    • “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski
    • “The Body Is Not an Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor
  • Watch Workshops: Online workshops about sexual health and wellness can provide new insights and tools.

Practice Self-Compassion

  • Be Kind to Yourself: Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend. Remind yourself that everyone has struggles.
  • Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you feel shame, question those thoughts. Are they based on facts or fears?

Try New Experiences

  • Take Small Steps: Start with small changes. This could be changing how you feel about being naked. Try spending time naked alone, then with your partner.
  • Explore Different Intimacy: Focus on different types of intimacy. This could include cuddling, kissing, or simply being close without any pressure.

Seek Professional Help

  • Therapy: A therapist can help you work through these feelings. Look for someone who specializes in sexual health or shame.
  • Online Resources: There are many online platforms and counselors who can guide you through this journey.

Keep Going

  • Be Patient: Change takes time. Celebrate small victories and be gentle with yourself.
  • Stay Curious: Explore your feelings and desires without judgment. Curiosity can lead to growth.

You are not alone in this journey. Take small steps every day, and remember that it is possible to overcome sexual shame. Embrace your journey toward healing and self-acceptance.