30 Days Sober: My Journey and Need for Advice

Today, I celebrate 30 days of being sober. This journey has not been easy, but it has been worth it. Looking back, my past feels black-and-white. These last 30 days feel colorful, like I am seeing colors for the first time in years. I feel happier, more positive, and more social. I have even met new people and made small talk, which I never thought I could do.

This change isn’t magic. Quitting porn addiction is one of the hardest things I have faced, maybe even tougher than quitting nicotine. I see real changes in myself. My face looks brighter, the dark circles under my eyes are fading, and my skin looks healthier. I need less sleep, but I wake up with more energy.

I am 25 years old and live alone. I struggled with this addiction since I was 13, which means I have dealt with it for almost 13 years. I learned that I cannot force myself to quit. The only way out is to stop pushing so hard and truly commit to leaving the addiction behind.

Seeking Advice on Relationships

Now, I need some advice about relationships. My ex reached out about a week ago. We were in a long-distance relationship before I moved to a new city. Back then, when I was deep in my addiction, she sent me nudes. She thinks this is the way to win me back. I used to enjoy this, but I don’t blame her. I shaped our relationship around my addiction.

We have been broken up for almost a year, but now she wants to start another long-distance relationship. Just yesterday, she sent me nudes again. I didn’t open them fully, but I saw them in the preview. Now, I feel guilty. I worry that when loneliness kicks in, I might give in and look.

The truth is, I don’t even like her anymore. The only thing I enjoyed was the nudes, but now, being free from this addiction, I don’t want or need that anymore. Living in a new city feels lonely since I don’t know many people. Yet, I know if I let her back into my life, I will fall back into that deep hole of addiction.

I would appreciate any advice on this situation. I hope my story motivates someone out there, as sharing it helps me. Thank you for reading!